Dear Santa, a Cooking Tragedy

Cooking. Why can't we just bloody eat raw food ala shashimis and sushis? I remembered durin' those times before I came here, mum would literally screamed at me with this cliche sentence. "Learn how to cook ar. Go there then how?!!". My answer would alwiz be, "Aiya, just dump everythin' into the pot and wait till its boilin' lar. Wutz the BIG DEAL?"

Yeah, it's indeed a BIG DEAL. Regrets started creepin' into my soul and I should have listened to her. Just like the tragical play of Romeo and Juliet, my first day of cooking experience is hellish and ended with a sour note.

1. Those bloody garlics. I forgot to peel off the skin and threw them into the soup.

2. The precious salt. It seems that I am a member of the Society of Salt Preservation.

3. Potatoes. I almost dumped them into the soup. With extra spices from the ground. Lovely for earthworms.

4. Chicken. I forgot to wash them. YEAH, luckily muh homies ain't know anythin bout it.

5. The last and the best part. I used a special spatula to stir the dish. What's so special about it? My homie came back from work and she needs to prepare food for the landlord's annoying cats. As she was gettin' ready the bowl.........

Her: Where's the spoon?

Me: ???? I dunno, maybe you left it outside.

Her: *Looked at me, pointin' to the spatula m usin"

Me:..................................This for those cats?

Her & Me:.....................................................................................

Bon voyage mua appetit. Anyway we ate it and please do visit my funeral in case I died of food poisonin'.

But thankfully, my cookin' tragedy had been minimized by Amanda! (Not that China girl, its Amanda Chua. Haha) Thank you so much for savin' my ass.

I don't think I will be cookin' a big dinner for a long long time.